Sep
17
Filed Under (funny stuff) by admin on 17-09-2009

Ok, so my kid showed me this youtube video that is a spoof of energy commercials, which I thought was pretty funny.

When I showed it to a friend of mine who actually does work out though, he said that the funny looking green man in the video is a real person. I thought it was just a funny graphic that they made up, but apparently not. I will first post the video and then the link to another blog that has the images.

Really makes you think twice about taking steroids.

Ok here we go:

 

 

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Feb
01
Filed Under (funny stuff) by admin on 01-02-2012

Let’s get started. You want an easy, no-hassle solution that will help you lose weight as quickly as possible. Well, I’ve got your solution. In this article, I’ll tell you about a solution that’s so powerful you’ll be able to see changes <i><u><b>within 11 days</b></i></u>. In those 11 days, you can easily loose up to <b>10 pounds!</b> 10 lbs to lose, in less than two weeks!

I used to be in the same situation as you. That’s why I’m so fed up. The corporate bigwigs don’t care if you lose weight at all; they just want you to buy what they’re selling. And what they’re selling is the same tired out remedies that fail customers on a regular basis. Back when I had my own troubles losing weight, I would buy the same remedies they sold, unaware of the fact that they were useless. Many of them were not only useless, they actually created <b>EVEN MORE</b> problems! However, through trial and error, I finally found the <u>right</u> answer. Luckily for you, you won’t have to go through the same stuff I did.

So here, I’ll give you a few examples of what NEVER to buy:

– Weight loss pills: They simply <u>do not work</u>. General rule of thumb: there are few problems that can be solved by a pill. If you really want to lose weight, don’t waste your money on this.

– Exercise: Contrary to popular belief, <u>exercise is <b>NOT</b> as powerful as you think</u>. One weight loss study was conducted where overweight men and women would exercise five times a week for three months. Over this three month period, an average of only <u>8 pounds</u> was lost. The absolute best subject lost 32.3 pounds over this time period, which is about 2.7 pounds a week. However, the worst subject <i>GAINED</i> weight! Can you believe it? Also, remember this: the people in the study actually had the time to exercise and were dedicated to their workouts. And just think about it: 8 lbs in three months, or 10 lbs in less than two weeks?

– Low fat/calorie/carb diets: The reasoning behind these types of diets is that if you get rid of the stuff that can causes you to be fat, then you won’t gain weight anymore and that you’ll actually begin to lose it. THIS IS <b>FALSE!!</b> This is so far from the truth it’s not even funny. As a matter of fact, these diets will make you <u><i>FATTER THAN EVER!!!</i></u>

Now, I’ve told you about a few weight loss “solutions” that don’t work. But I’ve yet to tell you what’s actually important. Are you ready to learn the truth?

I’ve found that the most important element to weight loss is <b>eating</b>. I know that this sounds a little hard to believe, but stick with me. What if I were to tell you that the reason you can’t lose weight is specifically because of how you’re eating? What if I were to tell you that there are <u>special techniques</u> that, if utilized properly, will allow you to lose weight <i>faster than <b>anything</b></i> you’ve ever seen before? Would you believe me? Whether or not you do, it’s true.

Click the link below that says 10 lbs to lose to find out more. You can get a crystal clear understanding of it there.

10 lbs to lose

Trust me; you don’t want to waste any time fooling around with those same tired out solutions. Click the link now to fully uncover the truth about weight loss.

10 lbs to lose

Jason Tolbert
http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/10-lbs-to-lose-2-weeks-the-truth-revealed-701570.html

Jan
15
Filed Under (funny stuff) by admin on 15-01-2012

I’ve heard rumblings and rumors of Fantasia Parties before, sometimes called “Romance Parties,” or simply put “Adult Sex Toy Parties,” but until best girlfriend told me she was going to get married, I didn’t think much about it. So, when she told me the big news, I knew I would want to give her the best stagette/bachelorette party ever! Little did I know then, how I would actually pull it off.

The problem with this was – I’ve never been much into male strippers, or typical stagette party stuff. The thought of some dude dangling his softy in my best “bride-to-be” girlfriends face, seemed a bit off. She’s a pretty adventurous girl, and we’ve been caught in a few sticky situations together for sure, but the typical bachelorette routine wasn’t’ going to cut it. That’s when I recalled a term I had heard a year before, and started to investigate.

“Fantasia Parties,” I thought to myself as I sat in my kitchen trying to brainstorm ideas, sounds like a bunch of 5 year-olds all having a sleepover with Disney Movies, chocolate chip cookies and milk. So, I decided to go check out what this was really all about, and if it was even something I could afford. The first website that came up was cheap and tacky looking… next one was super amateurish… but the next one spoke my language, so I read on. The term “Fantasia Party” seems to have been coined up in Canada, and in the bigger Canadian cities like Ontario, Halifax, Nova Scotia, and across the country, these events are a regular thing, and there’s nothing PG or Disney about them!

So here’s what I planned for my best girlfriends last night of debauchery – A guided tour of the most intriguing and “forbidden” adult sex toys, hosted by a professional Fantasia Party Hostess, in the comfort and privacy of my own home, who also would serve as our one stop shopping after the presentation. Working with the hostess beforehand, we came up with a theme evening “game night.” One of the games was – anyone caught crossing their legs during the presentation has to drink! Believe me, when some of the toys came out, about half of us had to drink! Also, I arranged with my other guests to pay for all of the bride-to-be’s purchases (budget of $250) as a gift from all of us.

Here’s the best part about this: I didn’t have to pay a cent to hire the Fantasia Consultant! In fact, not only was it free for the presentation, I received a %10 percent discount on all my purchases just for hosting the night. On top of that – because our combined purchases were over a certain amount, I was given a bonus gift – which I’m too embarrassed to tell you what it was! That’s for me to know!

If you are still cloudy about all this, here is a Fantasia Party defined: An adult sex toy party hosted in your own home. Fantasia Parties are for persons over 18. Usually, but not always, they are a girls only event, but you can make it whatever you want – like my stagette game night. Fantasia Parties are a safe, fun, intimate way to explore a sometimes ignored part of your sensuality. These are not sex parties! Your Fantasia Hostess is trained and knowledgeable about all the products you will see. The presentation is informative, funny, and liberating. Your guests will go home with a renewed vitality and lust for adventure in the bedroom. Exploring our sexuality is not only healthy, but something that we all deserve to feel good about.

Anyway, enough of the sales pitch! I’m telling you all this because we had so much fun. It was just right to put us all in the mood to go out afterwards for my girlfriends last night out as an unmarried sex kitten. The funniest part of the whole experience was how uneducated we all were about these products! Now that I’ve seen, touched, and tasted so many new things, I can’t wait to host my next one, and see what crazy new and different stuff shows up.

So, now she is happily married. It’s been almost six months, and everything seems great with her. The other day her new husband (who I’ve know for three years now) came up to me and thanked me for hosting that Fantasia Party Stagette. “Oh, your welcome,” I said, “but please don’t tell me anything more… I don’t want to know any details!” We laughed. The truth is – I already know everything from her. She was so excited about some of the adult toys, lotions, and lingerie she took home – she just had to tell me! Ugh! Too much information…

Anyway – Fantasia Home Parties are a great idea for an event like the one I just told you about, or just as a fun girls-night-in, no occasion necessary. Your guests will thank you for sending them home with no many less unanswered questions, and a brown bag full of bedroom fun!

Jamie-Lynne Kennedy
http://www.articlesbase.com/women’s-issues-articles/fantasia-party-girl-power-744986.html

Dec
29
Filed Under (funny stuff) by admin on 29-12-2011

This is also where a lot of people go through and get confused and they go I need a 10–12-percent keyword density; you know that’s–you don’t want to do that. Your keyword density should be–well in fact, I’m one to always state you want to be very careful of who you listen to and where you get your information because I’m a Big proponent of you build a quality site first and the traffic will come naturally just because of how–how you built it, as long as you have a very good SEO foundation.

I’ll give you some quick numbers here that in fact we got through and we pull and we–we research and target the–all the major engines very, very closely. For example, the–the density in the content itself in Google has been about one to two-percent over the last eight months. For more details go to www.seo-prediction.com .Go over to MSN and MSN ranges from two to four- Percent and over at Yahoo it ranges from two to five-percent. So the–with those numbers you can basically state–is well if you’re within two to three-percent you’re going to be okay. You start getting above that And the search engine will think that you’re what are called spamming. You’re trying to go through and keyword stuff that pays to make the page increase. I’ve got–I’ve got data that shows that if you go through and–and make those numbers too high you’ll start to fall in Google because Google looks at those numbers very, very closely and–and they want to make sure that the page is relevant. They don’t want you know someone going to the search results pages and finding–finding garbage. Certainly not least–because I’m sure many more of these terms. You know it’s funny you should–you should say that. That’s probably the best place to–to start, because again if the search engine guru is not high listed then why are you bothering trying to hire them to do the same for you? That’s one place to start; the second is talk to associates, talk to–if you have a good relationship of not necessarily with your competitors but with people close to your industry ask them who they would recommend.  To know more about it logon to www.huge-niche-keywords.com .A rate that’s just–it’s almost doubling you knows every single year. For–for a Fortune 500 firm the numbers that I’ve seen range between 13 and 22-percent.

 That they’re now spending to go through and do not just Online marketing but this is also taking care of their website Maintenance and such so it’s–it’s–if you went back to 2000 most Fortune 500 companies were spending you know one, two-percent of Their overall budget and now we’re seeing that really escalate and Even–even just the paid per click numbers are–are almost doubling Every year in terms of money spent. So Search Engine Marketing has really become a whole New area of marketing and advertising; that’s interesting. 

 It has; it’s–it’s now being considered a very serious player and it’s no longer you know looked at as the–the black magic so to speak that it’s been known for–for years.

Gurdeep

Dec
13
Filed Under (funny stuff) by admin on 13-12-2011

Among the multiple innovations the internet introduced to the field of marketing, there is no doubt that the most entertaining one is the viral video. Video sharing, which started as what seemed to be a teen fad, exploded into the primary content trend offered online today. And where the creative juices are flowing, it doesn’t take long for advertisers to jump in and join the current.

A huge part of the popular viral videos of the past were amateur stuff featuring home videos that range from funny to shocking. Everybody’s pet became a video star. But along with professionally produced material such as tv sketches and music videos, banned tv ads that started popping online were the first seed for commercial videos made straight for the internet. At first, when the videos or their links used to be spread in emails, spam guards and size limits slowed down the process, but video sharing giants like YouTube made the world a stage – the most accessible stage we ever had.

Most people flip tv channels when the commercial break is on, so what makes them tune in voluntarily? Internet videos are usually bolder, edgier, and more creative, and the people who make them are internet users themselves who take active part in video sharing communities; internet marketing companies who create viral videos understand the medium intimately and the truth in its core – that author and audience had never been closer, and in fact interchangeable. The fact that the person watching your video now is the author of the video you’ll be watching in a few minutes is the basis of genuine respect for the viewer. Internet ads don’t pound their commercial message with a hammer, or spoon feed us. They have to be more sophisticated and entertaining, because switching off is much easier.

Commercial viral videos are the best marketing strategy out there today to create brand awareness. What could be better than having people recommending your commercial to their friends? And with a wide range of video upload websites, you can publish your vision for free. That’s right, who needs to pay for air time when you’ve got web time?

To make it work in media sharing communities, your video needs to be interesting and surprising, and keep a high quality standard of image. People will tolerate the most grained and disrupted streaming from amateurs, but the pros have to deliver great graphics and processional work as seen in this funny and provocative internet commercial, The Interrogation The Interrogation . But it doesn’t stop there, before the video runs on its own you need to give it a hand, by networking with other members on your video sharing community to reach more exposure. Internet marketing companies usually devote considerable resources for this purpose, and rightly so.

The archives of sharing sites are already packed with millions of videos stored, but as long as there are people out there looking for laughs, interest and some entertainment, your audience is waiting for you.

Michael Green
http://www.articlesbase.com/online-promotion-articles/commercial-viral-videos-130138.html

Nov
27
Filed Under (funny stuff) by admin on 27-11-2011

This is a pretty involved topic. There are so many different women out there looking for so many different things. Please don’t take this article as gospel and think it applies to every woman. Nevertheless, I will generalize for the most part on some of the givens when it comes to what a woman looks for in a man. The first important thing to note is this: for 90 percent of women, the attributes of a man are far more important then the looks or the body of a man.

Sure, there are some shallow ones out there that care only about money, looks, or body. For the vast majority of women though, it is what the man has to offer as a person. How many average guys have you seen with an incredibly hot girl? It doesn’t surprise me, as I know what is important to most women. Now don’t get me wrong. Don’t let yourself go til the point that you look like a sack of ass. Physical attraction is still very important, especially for the beginning attraction and connection. But if Looks were in a cage match against Personality, then believe it or not Personality will kick Look’s ass everytime. Hell, it’d put a chair to the face of Looks as Looks is superplexed off the top rope.

SIDENOTE-To really have any woman you want, you need to be able to read them and understand what makes them tick. Figuring out their hot buttons is very important. If you can find out what their hot buttons are and push them frequently, you’ll be successful with women.

For example, if you find out that fidelity is a big hot button for them, (even though it is with most women) then you better be damn sure that you never take a second glance when that hottie walks by. Act as if you never saw her. You can’t even let your eyes move; they’ll see it and they don’t like it. Or if you go up to a register and there is a hottie, your eyes better damn well be fixed on the register displaying the amount, then your credit card, and then anywhere else but on the hottie. If she thinks that you only have eyes for her and no one else even exists in your mind, you’re pushing her fidelity hot button.

You can even take it a step further without going overboard by saying things like……. “I hated that movie, he cheated on her!!! What a piece of shit, I thought he was a decent guy and it was a decent flick before that, I hated it” Get the picture? Find their hot buttons and focus on them so she knows you are what she is looking for.

Ok, back to the generalizations of what women like. Women, and everyone for that matter, like to have fun. No one dreads the serious relationship stuff like women. They want it to be simple and fun in public. But, they also want you to give them the love and affection they need in private. So….with that being said, be the life of the party. You don’t have to be the center of attention, but be light and humorous. Make her laugh often and figure out whatever it is that she thinks is funny. It might be being sarcastic to her, or making fun of others, or something else.

Whatever the hell it is, find it out and use it to make her laugh. You can look like the biggest sack of ass physically but if you make her laugh, constantly, she’ll love being around you. Now I’m not saying never ever be serious because then she’ll never take you seriously. Nevertheless, the ratio should certainly be 80/20, with the light and funny being the 80!

No one thinks that they are on this earth just to sit around and wait until they kick off. We are here to have a good time. If you show her how fun it is to be around you, she will make sure she is in your presence. She would much rather be around someone that makes her laugh and have a good time, even if he doesn’t have that much to offer in the looks department, over some gorgeous idiot that she doesn’t even like to be around.

Think about it, who do you like to hang around most? If you do a mental inventory of who you like to be around the most, I bet it is funny and fun loving people. Women are no different.

So make her laugh anyway you can. If she laughs with you all night long, then you can be sure she will add you to the people she wants to be around.

Godspeed young slayer of virtue.

For more advice on women, check out my articles at AlphaBeta.com

Gabriel
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/what-women-like-115306.html

Nov
11
Filed Under (funny stuff) by admin on 11-11-2011

Ever wondered how that site will look which will offer you loads of pictures, codes, layouts and loads of such stuff at one stop. No I am not showing you any rosy picture but I am offering you the truth. The one stop shop which you are looking for is here, we call it myspacetweaks.info. Rush log onto it and find what’s in store for you. Search through the pages and you will find the utilities endless and very useful.

My Space Tweaks is like a sea of such nibbles which you consistently search for but fail to find. Not only the small things but this particular site provides you with a load of utilities which you won’t find anywhere else. To start with this site is a trasure when it comes to –backgrounds, cursors, layouts, codes etc. Apart from this you can also find many other utilities such as Funny Bulletins, Contact Tables, Premade Layouts, Comment Images, Picture Cube Generator, Crazy Clock Generator, Profile Mp3 Player, Glitter Text Factory, Count Down Timer, Myspace Love Note Generator, Myspace Wall Calendar Generator, For Dummies Book Cover, MySpace LED Scroller, Myspace Train, Glitter Graphics etc.

You can also use the pre-made layouts or can download the layout generator or you can simply choose from the various themes of layouts available on the site. For the webmasters as well as general users many interesting generators are also made available such as Background, Contact Tables Comment Box, Extended Network, Falling Objects, Layout Generator, Navigation Bar, Online Now, Overlapping Text, Scrollbar Colors, Whore Me etc. At the same time you can use many other utilities such as Center your Profile, Comment Images, Hide Extended Network, Hide Contact Box, Hide Details Section, Hide General Info, Hide Last Login, Hide Only Your Friends, Hide the Search Form, Hide Friends, Move Contact Box, Remove Links, Remove the URL Box, Reverse Friends, Scroll Content Boxes, Scroll Friends, View More Pictures.

There are also a number of codes given on this site which the users can download. These include Color Chart, Game Codes, Hover Codes, Image Codes, Marquee Codes, Special Characters, Miscellaneous Codes etc. Plus there are lot more features in this website which are updated daily. Along with that the downloading time of te pages has been kept low to help the users while using this site. Efforts have also been given to make it as user friendly as possible which reflects in its design. So overall it is a one stop shop where you can find the maximum utilities we are sure you won’t find anywhere else. Log on today to experience it. And it is for sure that you will certainly benefit from these treasures of utilities you will find on My Space Tweaks.

Dhiraj
http://www.articlesbase.com/home-and-family-articles/my-space-tweaks-treasure-is-open-115985.html

Oct
26
Filed Under (funny stuff) by admin on 26-10-2011

Your subconscious mind is always saying “yes!”

This “yes” is a very powerful thing. While your conscious mind can only process about 7 bits of information per second, your subconscious mind can process 7 billion bits of information per second. While your conscious mind can barely remember what happened an hour ago, your subconscious mind can remember everything with total recall.

What is your subconscious mind saying “yes” to?

Do you say things like this to yourself: “I don’t earn enough. I can’t afford it. Why do they charge so much? I’d really like to get it but I can’t afford it right now. That’s all the company pays.” If you’re thinking these thoughts, your subconscious mind is saying “yes” to it and you’re getting more of what you don’t want.

Do you say things like this to yourself: “I feel really tired right now. My back and shoulders are killing me. What wouldn’t I do for just a little more energy. I could accomplish so much more if I didn’t feel this bad all the time.” Again, your subconscious mind is saying “yes” to it.

Do you say things like this to yourself: “I feel so lonely. Nobody really loves me. They’re all just pretending to be my friends because they want something from me.
He/she just doesn’t love me the way they used to. People are really mean to me. It always amazes me how rude/crude/ungrateful/selfish/stupid other people can be. I could accomplish so much more if they just gave me a chance.” Again, your subconscious mind is saying “yes” to it.

You can turn this around by thinking completely different thoughts. “I can afford this right now because what I will learn from it will bring my money back quickly. I am really at the right place here to earn more. I’m going to make this investment right now.”

Similarly, you can be thinking, “The more I exercise and eat right the better I feel. When I feel tired, it’s fine for me to rest and get my energy back.”

And you can be thinking, “It’s great to be me. It’s funny how people go out of their way to make me happy.”

Since your subconscious mind is saying “yes” to these things, too, you will soon find yourself attracting more money, more health, and more positive relationships.

Your subconscious mind is a vast reservoir of pure intelligence. It powerfully supports you in whatever you think or dream.

Your subconscious mind hooks up to the super-conscious mind to bring you serendipidity and synchronicity. You start getting into the right moods, start working more productively, start sharing more of yourself with others. You start feeling better and acting more intelligently. You start to get intuitions and wonderful coincidences fall into your lap.

I’d like to give you an example of how amazing all this stuff is from my own experience. The other day I came across a website where I wanted to get the product. I thought, “I’d like to get this.” It was an expensive product but I was fine with it because I knew I could afford it. Then I got a telephone call and got busy and actually forgot about this website.

However, my subconscious mind had said “yes” to it.

Then yesterday I got an email from someone I did not know. They said that they had been to my website and really liked my products and what I was doing online. They sent me a link to their product, asking me what I thought about it. Imagine my surprise when I downloaded the product to find that it was the exact product I was intending to buy the other day!

Stuff like this happens to me all the time. Why? It’s because I know that my subconscious mind is saying “yes” to whatever I ask and I have trained myself to ask for what I want and to completely ignore what I don’t want. I could tell you many other stories where things just show up for me with no effort on my part, but I think you get the point.

That’s my secret, and now you know it too and can apply it.

Saleem Rana
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/here-is-the-secret-of-my-success-60059.html

A Solid Decision

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Nightly for many years I lay in my lonely marriage bed and fantasized about what I called “running away from home.” I could never quite see how I’d do it. To keep thinking about it seemed to relieve the pressure of my daily struggle but still no action for 15 years.

Now I realize that my biggest moment of power was when I made the decision to leave my husband. I made a decision. I even trusted it though I had not thought the whole idea through. This time what blossomed in my mind as a result of that decision was the awareness that I could rely on myself. And as important, the decision motivated the actions that followed.

I had heard the voice of my Real Self guiding me and it was in this way that I decided the future of my life. I heard “could” instead of “should” and “want to” instead of “have to”.

The old ego-mind voice was trying to keep everything the same for itself and left a heavy feeling in my gut. The new voice left me feeling uplifted and light. It felt like angels in my heart rather than a pitchfork in my butt.

Tony Robbins is quoted as saying, “To decide is to cut off any other possibility.” Making a decision means jumping from one state of mind to another. Before – I thought and felt this way; now – I think and feel this new way. Make a decision and it is not hard to follow the new way as it generates a new consciousness and therefore, ideas, knowledge and different-than-before actions follow.

Right-Brain and Left-Brain Decisions

There is right-brain decision making which is intuitive. And, there is left-brain decision-making that is systematic. Above is an example of right-brain decision-making. Intuitive decision-making hides the steps. You make a “belief-in-your-own-knowing” leap of faith when you trust and act on this kind of decision.

Recently I made the left-brain, systematic decision when I decided after seeing my cheeks and nose turn bright red from eating too many refined carbohydrates, that I would eat only what I knew was right for my body.

For several days my mind went crazy trying to get me to eat the wrong stuff. Here’s what it did then and for the past 40+ years:

* I heard my mind use scientific information it had previously gathered to its own “advantage” to try to get me to eat refined carbohydrates.

* I heard my mind discount all scientific information as to how excess weight happens and how refined foods effect that – as hooey.

* I found my mind leaving me completely confused about what is the right thing to for me to eat. And confusion is a very rare state for me. I may not know something but I generally know that I don’t know.

* I found my mind telling me that all this food preparation was too much work and takes too much time.

* I heard my mind telling me that eating the same things over and over is boring.

* In the recent past I’ve found myself being evasive to people who I want to think I’m following a special program perfectly.

* I have also watched my mind give me permission to eat whatever I want as if I’m the parent and the child at the same time.

* Often at the beginning of a diet, an eating program or an exercise program I’ve had strong enthusiasm and watched my thoughts generate real excitement only to have that feeling of enthusiasm fade and so too my resolve. My mind was now generating “it’s not so great” thoughts and so my feelings followed suit.

* I’ve also heard my mind telling me that “this hunger will be too much to bear”.

* I found my mind telling me and making me feel that “I don’t care” about anything other then the food at hand – I’ll just eat what I want. And that’s really a funny one. Every time I’ve listened to that voice for the umpteenth time, it is immediately followed by another voice beating me up.

Thus, I made a decision – “I cut off any other possibility.” So I just listen to the voices, feel the feelings, don’t do what they tell me to do and they fade away.

You made a decision and read this article. Reading an article is not a big decision or a big deal. Was it an intuitive decision or a step-by-step decision? My guess is that it was an intuitive decision. If that is so, then it may follow that your intuition is guiding you toward a journey of transformation and beginning to reveal a new opening of consciousness that is forming in you.

So having made the decision, though unconsciously and now having become conscious of your decision, you can look at what else you need for your transformational journey.

In the 12 Step program they say, “If you want what I have, you have to do what I do.” I’m happy to share what I do; however, I’d like to tweak the 12-Step statement a bit and say,

IF YOU WANT WHAT I HAVE AND DON’T HAVE IT – A HAPPY MARRIAGE, GOOD FAMILY RELATIONS, WONDERFUL FRIENDS AND VERY SATISFYING, PURPOSEFUL WORK, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN YOU ARE DOING NOW OR IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU’VE ALWAYS DONE YOU’LL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT!

My writing and coaching offers the ways and tools that work for me. Choose these or whatever else works for you. Simply be honest with yourself along the way.

Maia Merril Berens
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/a-solid-decision-rightbrain-decisionmaking-and-leftbrain-decisionmaking-148044.html

A friend of mine that owns three restaurants simply sat down and handwrote a post card to his customer list inviting them to join his rewards program and he had a 20% sign up off that mailing. During the previous 6 months, he distributed two other post card mailings, without the handwritten message, and never had more than a 5% response rate.

What made the difference?

This time he used cheapest and most effective loyalty building and customer retention tool in existence, a tool that is largely ignored because it is boring to the marketer. However, it is so exciting to the customer that it completely drowns out all other marketing messages it competes with. This powerful tool that nobody uses is a personal touch.

“Oh, it’s just that,” you say. “I thought he was going to talk about some new idea or technology that would magically attract and retain clients for me. Personal touch, blah, blah, blah.”

Gotcha! I’m sorry to tell you, but there is no magic pill for attracting and retaining clients. It takes work – work that many businesses today fail to invest in. They don’t spend time to write a personalized handwritten note or make a personal phone call because that kind of stuff is boring. It takes too long. Taking the time to sit down and think of what you want to write, find a nice card, actually write the note, stuff it into an envelope, put a stamp on it and mail it. Are you kidding? Why not send an email, it’s so much easier!

When trying to create loyalty and build customer retention, easier is not always better!

What catches my eye about a service provider is not the easy things they do, but the things I perceive as they’re going out of their way to do for me.

After receiving cost hikes and poor service from my local cable service for years, I had come to detest them to the core. I would have sworn my prejudice was so ingrained it would be impossible for them to overcome. Yet, I melted with just one personal gesture on their part.

My cable box went out. The company sent someone over two days later and replaced the box. Not great, but OK. The very next day, I received a handwritten note by the cable guy…yeah! The cable guy! He thanked me for being a customer in his own handwriting. I immediately thought, if a guy that doesn’t get paid the big bucks at the company would still take the time to send me a handwritten note the day after he performed a service for me, then that’s a company I like doing business with.

Here Are My Top 6 Loyalty Building Handwritten Notes You Should Be Writing To Attract & Retain New Clients:

1. Always have a stack of “Thank You” notes on your desk. — Write at least one a day for anything or anyone that strikes your fancy. Just get it written and in the mail. You would be surprised how writing a thank you note to a clerk that helped you in a store can sometimes work its way back to you in very strange and positive ways.

2. Have an idea that people need to know about? – Send out a handful of notes asking people to lunch or breakfast to run an idea by them. 10 of these a month and your sales will go through the roof

3. Birthday and holiday cards – need is say more? And don’t send a lousy pre-printed one or a card with just a signature. That is a slap in the face. Take the time to write a brief message, then and only then, sign it.

4. Attach a note to an article that you read – nothing makes a person feel more important than when you send an article to them about an interest of theirs with a personal note attached. People work with people that do the little things.

5. Haven’t seen you in a while – sending a note to check-in with someone can result in business you never dreamed of

6. Send something to make them smile – a joke, a funny news story or personal account. This will change your whole relationship to that of a friend and people buy from friends.

Writing a note is one of the simplest, easiest and most cost effective ways to build loyalty and retain clients, yet it is the most under utilized marketing tool in business today. Pick up a pen. Write a note and watch the magic begin.

Michael Kaselnak
http://www.articlesbase.com/marketing-articles/building-loyalty-6-handwritten-notes-you-should-be-writing-to-attract-retain-new-clients-106478.html